I see 5 gentlemen every day.

as soon as I wake up Will Power helps me out of bed.

Then I go see John.

Then Charlie Horse comes along and when he's here he takes a lot of my time an dattention.

When he leaves, Arth Ritis  shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one spot very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.

What a life!!!!

p.s.  I'm flirting with Al Zymer!

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your
balance and fall over.
6. People say, Great Boris Karloff Mask and you're not a wearing a
mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or" and can't remember the
rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining
orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your
hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors
should not go Trick Or Treating...
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway!!

 

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current
events..
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings
at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born
before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots!

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' The Pill

there were no:

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon


Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . . and then lived
together.


Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir".
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a
title, "Sir."

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare
centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and
common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to
stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a
bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.


Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening
breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters,
yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches
on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to
Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5
and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were
all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough
stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $1600, . but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 22 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' "grass" was mowed,

' "coke" was a cold drink,

' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and

' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,

' " chip" meant a piece of wood,

' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and

' "software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a
husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and
say there is a generation gap... and how old do you think Grandpa is?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock! !

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at
the same time.



This man would be 59 years old

How to Know You are Getting Older

With many important priorities and goals in our lives, sometimes one of the most important --to laugh at ouselves and others--falls by the wayside. The following is by an author: A.Non, I. Muss, gives us some laughs......

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

You feel like the night before and you haven't been any where.

Your little black book contains names only ending in M.D.

You get winded playing chess.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.

You join a health club and don't go.

You begin to outlive enthusiasm.

You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.

Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

You know all the answers, but noone asks you the questions.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You walk around with your head held high, just trying to get used to your bifocals.

Your favourite part of the newspaper is"25 years ago today".

You turn out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic onefs.

You sit in the rocking chair and can't get it going.

Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.

You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist and 106 around the golf course.

You stop looking forward to your next birthday.

After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying the second coat.

Dialing long distance wears you out.

You're startled the first time you are addressed as an oldtimer.

You can't stand people who are intolerant.

The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.

You burn the midnite oil after 9 pm.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

A fortune teller offers to read your face.

Yor pace maker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

The little gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.

You get your excersise by acting as pallbearer for your friends who excersise.

You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.