For those of you that know me you know today is my youngest brother's birthday.. and what that means.. for my new friends..

Today is my youngest brother' s birthday. He would have been 31 today. We tragically lost him 10 years ago as of April 17th (next month).

so I will be going up to the cemetary later on and pouring a beer out for him as per the usual Birthday celebration and plant a few wild flowers near his headstone.

I cannot remember if I said in last year's blog on this date as to why he is gone..so I guess I will repeat myself.

He had left with some "friends" that nite and I got a call around 9 or 10 I cant remember now, from our step dad.. wanted to know if I had seen or heard from him.. I said he'd gone out with so and so..(see he was living with me at the time)..anyway... at midnite I got a nother phone call from Andy( our stepdad) and was informed that Jeff was being life flighted to St Luke's in Kansas City.. he had been shot in the head. He had been taken to Richmond's hospital and the parents were called from there.

The story from the "friends" is they were out at Sunshine Lake target practicing in the dark.. and I'm sure they were also drinking. to make a long storyshort, they thought the gun was empty and according to them.. Jeff raised it to his head joking and it went off. They left him there. Drove all the way to Richmond before calling 911.. Lexington was much closer. Then they wouldn't go back out to Sunshine Lake with the paramedics and police to "find " Jeff. It took the paramedics half hour to locate Jeff, in the dark .

So there are questions that we will never get an answer for. And a deep resentment for the "friends" he was with. And a empty hole in our lives. And a daughter who was born to him 3 months after he died, who doesn't have father now.

Does it get easier to deal with? Sure..because I will see him again in the spiritworld. and I know what ever the reason is.. or was... he is home with his father(we have same mother.. different dad's .. his dad died from a heartattack when Jeff was a baby.. he never really remembered him) and our other relations that have gone on..

so Happy Birthday dear brother.. and peace